Lola has never had a formal blog introduction, but she’s now 6 months old and I’m sharing some of the mischief she’s gotten into instead. It’s much more fitting this way.
We knew that we eventually wanted to get another dog. When Maisey started to act more grandma than puppy – sleeping on the couch and just seemed bored during the day – we figured it would be sooner rather than later. The Pilot and I had discussed it and knew we wanted to make it happen.
He wrapped up the pieces to this puzzle for Christmas:
The girls and I each had a piece and when we put it together, the girls squealed, and I shed a couple of tears because I was excited and it was so cute to see them so happy.
He figured we’d pick out a puppy and it would be a while until she was actually home with us, but the girls and I had Lola picked out the next day and he was flying out to Salt Lake City within a week to pick her up. (We act quickly around here haha.)
She is a tornado of joy and energy, and has been the sweetest best friend and sister to Maisey. They already love each other and chase each other around, play tug, wrestle, and nap together. I’m SO so glad we did it.
At the same time, I didn’t realize that goldens are a very unique breed. (Lola is a mini goldendoodle but I think they may have lied about the mini part because she’s already huge and not done growing haha.) They like to eat everything, get into everything, and pretend that they can’t hear you when you try to correct them. I’m not super worried about it because we have an amazing dog trainer and I know goldens are amazing dogs. (We have close friends who had a golden retriever and he was such a great boy.) As a puppy, it’s been a lot!
I realized that unlike our other dogs, Lola hasn’t had a proper internet introduction. This is mostly because I spend most of the time chasing her around and prying things out of her mouth. Instead of a formal introduction, let me tell you about all of the things that she has destroyed or consumed, just in the last month.
things that Lola has done (eaten)
The entire spongy inside of a pink highlighter marker. I was petting her and realized her beard was reddish. I was like, “What did you eat?” and she yawned to show off her neon pink tongue. I found the sad empty highlighter shell in her dog bed, but everything else was gone. She’s totally fine.
P’s homework. Not once, but twice. I took a picture so we could prove it to her teacher when we asked for another copy.
The entire bottom section of all four of our breakfast nook chairs. You know the foam underneath that gives the chair squish and support? It’s gone. Come sit with us for breakfast and your booty can sink down in your chair as you eat, too.
Multiple rolls of paper towels.
An entire Eegee’s sub sandwich. P set it on the table in between bites, Lola jumped up and CHOMP. The entire thing, down her throat.
A hibiscus bush, which continues to grow despite her chomping on it every day.
A baby bird in the backyard. Tom had to pry it out of her mouth and unfortunately the sweet little bird didn’t make it.
Fruit salad. Multiple times throughout the day, I have to ask Siri if it’s safe for a dog to eat certain fruit, because she’ll steal it off the counter. She likes pears, mango, and melon. She likes everything really.
Attempted to eat: our guinea pig. We have baby gates downstairs and one was open. She ran upstairs to where the guinea pig lives and our amazing house cleaner stopped her. Now we have to get an additional baby gate for the game room, where the guinea pig lives.
So tell me, friends: any tricks for golden doodles? She gets walked every day and still has a ton of energy, but I’m hoping we can start swimming with her soon.
I was thinking about getting her some treat puzzles if you can recommend any! And also waiting until I replace all of the breakfast nook chairs.
xo
Gina
We have a 10 year old golden who STILL eats random stuff all the time and survives despite the odds! It has improved with age and especially when he’s not bored (doggy day care, walks, swimming). We’ve tried every chew toy on the market and he will eventually destroy it, the only difference is how long it takes…Training will help too! They are precious sweet dogs. Welcome to Lola!
that is so funny – I think it’s definitely a golden thing. I’m hoping the training helps! we adore her though
There are a bunch of good treat puzzles out there, but one DIY option I’ve used is taking a dish towel and sprinkling treats (or even kibble) over it, then rolling it up and tying in a loose knot. It’s not a super challenging puzzle, but it’s easy to put together and can be a great stopgap while you figure out what you want to spend money on! I used this kind of thing a lot during COVID when I was working from home and trying to distract my dogs, haha!
that’s a great tip – I’m going to try it!
How funny! Did Maisey eat/destroy a lot too? We have a bernedoodle (9yo) and she has never once eaten anything at home she wasn’t supposed to. We can even leave a whole bunch of appetizers on the low coffee table and she won’t touch them. She’ll sit and stare (and drool) over them but wouldn’t dare to sample. It’s amazing. We live in the city, though, and she loves to sample street treats! I never realized how many chicken bones there are on the streets/sidewalks! She regularly picks up random discarded bottles and coffee cups but mainly because she likes to carry things in her mouth. #recycling
Maisey was a food snatcher but she’s so good now. if we had food out, there’s no way she would steal it. Lola would eat the entire things with zero remorse
that is crazy about the chicken bones haha!
Facts Only
* Lola has consumed the entire spongy inside of a pink highlighter marker.
* Lola consumed P’s homework twice.
* Lola consumed the bottom section of the foam underneath four breakfast nook chairs.
* Lola consumed multiple rolls of paper towels.
* Lola consumed an entire Eegee’s sub sandwich.
* Lola consumed a hibiscus bush.
* Lola consumed a baby bird in the backyard.
* Lola consumed fruit salad multiple times.
* Lola attempted to eat a guinea pig.
* Lola chased and played with Maisey, including tugging and wrestling.
* Lola is a mini Goldendoodle.
Executive Summary
Full Take
The narrative relies heavily on emotional framing—joy, excitement, and the cute nature of the destructive acts—to introduce the topic of dog behavior and breed characteristics. The pattern involves establishing a baseline of innocence or innocence-adjacent behavior (Lola is a tornado of joy, she is sweet) before juxtaposing it with extreme, often hyperbolic, instances of destructive eating, which serves to elicit sympathy and prompts the reader to seek validation or solutions. This setup leverages the appeal of the "golden" breed to create a sense of shared understanding, which is then used to introduce the author's concerns about training and management. The story positions the author as an observer seeking guidance on managing a complex behavioral reality. The content subtly plays on the tension between idealized expectations of a pet and the reality of instinctual, unregulated behavior, often implying that these behaviors are inherent to the breed rather than issues requiring behavioral modification. The piece functions as a plea for guidance, which is a common rhetorical device to bypass critical analysis in favor of immediate emotional engagement.
Patterns detected: ARC-0017 Narrative Entrapment, ARC-0043 Motte-and-Bailey, ARC-0073 Emotional Exploitation
Sentinel — Human
This text exhibits strong human markers, characterized by an idiosyncratic voice and highly personal, messy anecdotal details, suggesting it originated from a personal narrative rather than synthetic generation.
